Do You Think I Overshare?
Human interactions involve many complex verbal and physical cues. However, speech is still the main way we communicate with others, giving information about our backgrounds, our viewpoints, and our lifestyles.
Sometimes, people may be led into “oversharing," that is, providing more information about personal subjects than the situation requires.
If you’re wondering if you “overshare,” here are some tips to understand your behavior and impose reasonable limits on how much you reveal in your everyday communications.
What Is Oversharing?
Oversharing is a term used to define the experience of providing information in conversation that is too personal, too detailed or too unsuitable for the situation. Anyone can accidentally lapse into going into too much personal detail, hence the phrase “too much information!”
But some people make it a habit, to the point where it causes difficulty in their interactions. Most people have a desire to be honest and authentic to others, but this impulse can lead to problems.
Being an authentic individual that others can relate to does require a certain amount of “letting people in” to see who you really are. But oversharing can sometimes cross a line and make people uncomfortable.
What Drives the Impulse to Overshare?
Sometimes, people overshare because they don’t want to be seen as "boring.” They use personal information to entertain the listener. At other times, you may overshare to deepen the relationship with the listener, but this measure may come too soon and cause them to back away.
Individuals in alcohol and drug recovery often feel the need to overshare to explain the restrictions that they put on their own behavior in order to maintain their sobriety. The information they provide to others can be a useful source, helping others to understand them better and allowing them to be free to do whatever is necessary to ensure their continued abstinence. But you must stop and judge carefully before you reveal alcohol and drug treatment or other sensitive issues.
Why Oversharing Isn’t Always A Good Thing
Oversharing assumes that it’s safe to reveal personal or sensitive information about yourself to a listener. However, telling too much about yourself to your boss, a coworker or a distant acquaintance may affect your relationship in the future. They may consider some issues in a negative light, which can affect your prospects for promotion or your social opportunities. Sometimes, sensitive issues about yourself or your situation are best left to be shared with trusted confidantes, who already have a good understanding of who you are and what you mean to convey.
How Can You Tell When You Are Oversharing?
You may have overshared something a bit too personal or detailed if the listener gets very quiet and doesn’t seem to know how to respond. If the listener begins to shift their eyes away from you, it may be because of discomfort stemming from what you are revealing. If they find a reason to take care of some task abruptly to get away from you, you may have shared too much.
If you find yourself the subject of gossip, it also may be because you shared too much. Some of the reactions may be very subtle. It’s up to you to stay alert to cues that tell you to get back to a more controlled behavior.
Tips for Preventing Oversharing
You can avoid moments of oversharing by determining in advance what your “boundary” should be about private information in various situations. You may decide to draw that line about past relationships, family issues, alcohol or drug rehabilitation, medical conditions or other areas of life. This boundary can change, depending on whether you are at school, at work, with family members or with various friends. Consider:
Before you share these details, think about why you feel you need to provide them.
Give some thought to the consequences of the revelation. Will it make the listener uncomfortable? Will it affect how they think about you? And will that impression have a negative effect on you or your goals?
Consider the personality and status of the listener. Some people are very open and uncomplicated. They take things people say without judgment. Others are more conservative and have strict lines about what should and shouldn’t be discussed. And many situations are considered not appropriate for sharing very personal information.
Practice contemplating these issues to develop a sense of when and where you can be open with your communications. It can help you to decide whether the information is really needed and whether your timing is off.
Calibrating your behavior in human interactions is a skill that is learned from practice. If you prepare yourself with self-understanding and a variety of conversational options, you can avoid oversharing and still be authentic to others in your daily life.
Author Bio: Patrick Bailey is a professional writer mainly in the fields of mental health, addiction, and living in recovery. He attempts to stay on top of the latest news in the addiction and the mental health world and enjoy writing about these topics to break the stigma associated with them.
